True Definition of a Man (aka Alpha)

Appreciation to chadhowsefitness for a great definition I was recently struggling to define

The Alpha Male, the real man, a man’s man, a warrior, a stand-up guy. It doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s a leader, the guy others look to for motivation, inspiration, and often with a hint of jealousy. He’s the man women want, without intention the center of attention.

He’s the guy, the man.


Here’s 25 characteristics that make a man the alpha. Leave your additions (or subtractions) in the comments section.

  1. The alpha male is persistent. There’s no quit in this man. He’s the tortoise not the hare. He’s the last man standing.
  2. The alpha male can defend himself and his family. He can handle himself with his fists, to put it another way.
  3. The alpha male is in peak physical shape. He’s strong and athletic as well as aesthetically pleasing to the opposite sex.
  4. The alpha male is courageous. He doesn’t lack fear, rather, he accepts that it exists and faces it at every opportunity.
  5. The alpha male can entertain. He has a sense of humor and can have a group of people hanging on his every word – he’s a good story teller.
  6. The alpha male has stories to tell. He’s lived – and is living – a unique life. He’s made mistakes, but he’s able to find humor in them. He’s had adventures that everyone wants to hear about.
  7. The alpha male can laugh at himself. This is an over-looked characteristic of an alpha male, but a necessary one. You can’t make fun of the alpha male because he’ll join in, no one can make fun of him better than he can.
  8. The alpha male is humble. Some of this comes from his ability to laugh at himself. No matter what he accomplishes, his head will never balloon, and if it does, he has the ware-with-all to come back down to earth before it gets out of hand.
  9. The alpha male is learned, educated. A degree isn’t a prerequisite, but a thirst for knowledge is. He wants to learn, and he does. This helps him relate to people from every social and economic standing. He can converse intelligently with the business man and the preacher. The history buff and the sports nut.
  10.  The alpha male is a man’s man. He’s a hard guy not to like or want to have a beer with. He’s tough, often quiet, composed, but can joke and shoot the shit with anyone.
  11. The alpha male knows the value of every word, he doesn’t talk simply to hear the sound of his own voice. His words are chosen carefully. He respects their power. Whether he’s writing or speaking, he doesn’t speak to be hear, he speaks when he has something of value to say. He’s never the loudest one in the room.
  12.  The alpha male has a purpose. This may be his most defining trait. Where many wander through life trying to find their Self, the alpha male is too busy creating his Self. Every day he does something to bring himself closer to his goal. He isn’t a wanderer, he’s going places; it’s so obvious that everyone around him can see it.
  13. The alpha male is a hard worker. He knows that nothing great is accomplished without hard work and a definite purpose.
  14. The alpha male is a warrior not a worrier. He understands that certain things aren’t under his control. He does everything he can to control what he can, but doesn’t worry about what he can’t. He’s not worried about tomorrow, he’s too busy working for today.
  15. The alpha male doesn’t pick a fight, but he ends it if he’s in one. He isn’t a bully. He isn’t an emotional wreck that looks for a fight at every corner. But, if the logical thing to do is to fight because the situation calls for it, he will. He’ll also never hit a man when he’s down. He isn’t fighting to destroy, but to defend.
  16. The alpha male has style. He takes pride in how he looks and people respect him for that. He also knows how to dress like a man. You’d never call the alpha male a metrosexual.
  17. The alpha male knows who he is, his values govern his life. He doesn’t stray from these values, in fact he stands up for them. Even when he stands alone in what he believes is right, he digs his heels in and fights.
  18. The alpha male knows how to treat a lady. He respects women, often because he’s had some great one’s in his life. He’s chivalrous. He helps his lady at every chance. He helps her reach her dreams, all-the-while moving closer to attaining his own.
  19. The alpha male isn’t a sucker. He isn’t a clinger. He doesn’t go out of his way to please everyone because that’s a futile endeavor. He won’t let a woman run his life. He’s his own man. Though he worships the ground his lady walks on, he knows how to pick ’em. He won’t be with a control-freak or a jealous woman. He has the social intelligence to see that storm before it peeks it’s nasty little head.
  20. The alpha male is a man of value. “Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.” Einstein knew that success is reached if you’re valuable to others. The alpha male is a man of value and values. He makes the lives of others better by being a part of them.
  21. The alpha male helps others, he’s generous. He has his purpose, but he knows that life isn’t merely about accomplishments, but about leaving a legacy. That legacy is how he made others feel, and how he helps others accomplish their dreams.
  22. The alpha male is a leader who leads by example. He doesn’t tell people how to live, but lives in the manner he sees as best to live.
  23. Alpha males throughout history, Achilles, William Wallace, and Napoleon, saw opportunity where others saw failure. The alpha male will fail, but he won’t see failure as the end. He’s sees it as a necessary part of the experience, a stepping-stone. Knowing this allows him to try things others won’t, and to work harder when others usually quit.
  24. The alpha male is stubborn. When he starts something he’s passionate about, no one can stop him or pull back on the reigns. He’s in it until the end. He’s also open-minded and willing to listen to other points of view. He knows he’s flawed and stubborn, so he gives way and learns from people who are better than him.
  25. The alpha male doesn’t try to be an alpha male. That’s where so many fail. He is interested in life, in living. He’s fascinated by the world around him, in becoming the best man he can possibly become. He genuinely cares about people. He passionately works hard. He’s excited by life, by the opportunity that each day presents. He’s genuine in every facet of who he is. Each of the characteristics are possessed by him naturally, or will be as he grows as a man. Bred from curiosity, a genuine kindness, and a warrior’s heart, he is who he is, and all others follow him wherever he will lead them.

How Single is Portland? (2014 Edition)

Here we are again.. Another year and another recap on the ratio of single men to women in the Portland area.

Last time we found that there are more single men in the metro area as well as most of the country in our prime demographic of 20-34. While disconcerting, Portland beat out most other large metro areas in what ended up being 112 single men per 100 single women in the 20-34 age range. While a victory, one commenter pointed the large population of homosexuals in the area and of them there tends to be a higher percentage of gays to lesbian. Knowing this along with new stats, lets find out how Portland fairs in this year’s review.

Singles, 20-34


First off we can immediately see that things haven’t changed much. In our key 20-34 demographic the number of single men to women is 518 to 500 or 3.5% higher. While this is a slight jump from 2012, it’s a large decline in our favor compared to 2010’s numbers.

What we really want to do this year is take into account “alternative lifestyles” and how that might skew the numbers in our favor.

According to the  Same-sex Couples and the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual Population by The Williams Institute at the University of California at Los Angeles, 6.1% of the Portland Metro area identifies as lesbian, gay or bi-sexual.

With historical growth, underreporting and  along with our numbers being from 2006, we can feel safe increasing this number to 7% for Portland.

Next we need to find what percentage of these same-sex couples that are male vs female so we can extrapolate that figure to our singles. According to the same institution, while the percentage of homosexual men to women are roughly equal, a larger percentage of men report being strictly gay as opposed to bi-sexual than women. As any single male in Portland can attest, the number of bi-sexual women here almost seems that of fables.



Nearly twice as many men report being strictly homosexual as women giving us some hope in seeing our numbers become even more competitive. Let’s do the math:

Of 518 single men, 23 which are strictly gay, gives us a total of 495 competing males.

Of 500 single women, 11 which are strictly lesbian, gives us a total of 489 available.

Overall, we are looking at 495 single men to 489 single women or a 1.2% spread. Not too shabby.

There you have it. Our singles census ends up a little worse than prior years initially, however when taking some new fact into account, ends up extremely competitive and within the margin of error.

Here’s to a great 2014!

Vices are Killing Your Game – Alcohol

Alcohol is wonderful! It lowers inhibition, increases self confidence and relaxes. Typically used in and easily obtained in copious quantities just about anywhere social interactions occur. It’s been a part of human society since the ancient times and even animals have sought it out for its effects.


On the flip side it’s expensive, unhealthy in large quantities, addictive, leads to poor judgement and been the cause of much destruction. Any ex-alcoholic can tell you the lives it’s ruined and economists the real costs to society.

So you may ask, where do I stand?

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Fatherly Advice


Vices are Killing your Game

Over the past year I’ve been recounting my typical night out, dates with women and general social interactions and came to a startling conclusion. Vices a usual source of enjoyment and relaxation have been killing my game. They have been receiving unrealistic acclaim to their pros and a blind eye to their negative consequences. Looking back to before I had these unhealthy habits up until today I can clearly see they have done little if anything to improve my state, results or overall ability to game compared to when they weren’t part of my life.

While a tough pill to swallow (heh heh),  routinely you hear of a overwhelming majority of instructors and those with extreme  success who swear off alcohol and the like in favor of a unclouded state of mind where they are in full control.

I don’t intent to use this post as an excuse to get props for my decision nor tell anyone how they should live by acting high and mighty. Instead I want to put down my reasoning both for me to look back and adhere to and for you to perhaps get something out of if you might be feeling the same way.


This week I’m planning on a series of posts regarding the numerous vices we partake in that are inherently killing our game. This summer I am intending to swear off each one and give an update at the end on how these decisions ultimately affected my game and overall quality of life. Here’s a syllabus dear student of what to expect from this course:

  1. Alcohol – Draining your health, bank account and social ability one drink at a time.
  2. Smoking – Science can’t be wrong. These sticks are affecting more than you think.
  3. Masturbation – Instant gratification, immediate regret and the sapping of your sexual energy.

This should be interesting. Hope you stick around for the full series.

Part 1 – Alcohol