Why I am Leaving Pick Up

Recently I stumbled upon a post from a local blogger whom has been disillusioned by the game and more specifically the community that revolves around it.  While I don’t know him nor his current situation in life it might be acceptable to assume he’s become so frustrated with his recent lack of success or that of those around him that he felt drastic measures were necessary and fully remove himself entirely.  He might very well have had considerable success, however most whom do don’t normally resort in fully discounting those around them whom share a similar mindset unless you an pretentious elitist realizing you’re no closer to your goal then first set out.   He simply states that he is leaving the community and while that’s perfectly acceptable there are many flaws in his logic.  Let take a look at his top 6 reasons leading up to this decision with my color commentary pointing out his failing understanding of social dynamics.

1) Money: When I joined Pick Up about three years ago the idea of a “Product” had only really recently been introduced. Today, every guy with some original piece of advice is selling you their philosophy on how to get “amazing women into bed.” I feel as if this goes against the grain of what it means to be in a community intended to help other guys.

The road to self growth is built upon products and guru’s looking to make a living peddling their successful lives via self marketed dribble they promise will fix any ailment in one’s happiness, lack of self worth or at times utter failure at success in life.  Here’s a quick statistic, “The total self-improvement market (incl. revenues of weight loss programs) was estimated to be worth $9.59 billion in 2005. The market grew more than 24% between 2003 and 2005.”

How many self-help experts do you think are out there excluding that of dating gurus?  How many of those programs do you honestly think will change you life over night?  Many claim, however to any sane individual these products are sold on a road built on promises of instant change and quick success.  While each product may offer insight many fail to satiate the overnight life change many Americans expect without any time or work invested.

If I have skillful knowledge of an area of my life specifically that of which many want to change why wouldn’t I offer a product to cash in on this self-help craze?  Dating books and resources have been around forever and this is just a subset of them no matter your expectations.  Yes “the community” is about free exchange of information, however if one has superior success why not try to market it?  That’s capitalism baby!

Don’t assume just because someone has realized the key to dating that everyone will freely divulge this information.  Tony Robbins has built an empire on this and I don’t see you aren’t throwing stones at him.  Just because you aren’t willing to pay for his programs or a weight loss program doesn’t mean you can’t find individuals with similar life goals you can network with towards a common goal.  Money has nothing to do with it unless you only value an idea by the price tag associated with it.

2) Becoming a Better Man: It is my goal to become the best man that I can in life and I don’t feel as if the community of PUAs is really challenging that growth for me. I feel as if we are stuck playing games with women when we should be trying to understand them at an individual level

Perhaps you’ve been living under a rock.  Meeting women is only a result of subsets of the many more important skills that lead up to that eventual goal.  Self-growth and inner game have always been the rock this ideal has been built upon as  without confidence, happiness and a life worth living you’ll have nothing to offer that will attract any healthy woman or even worthwhile friends.  You might be stuck playing games but it’s only a tactic used by those who don’t have the foundation and fundamentals necessary to attract a woman based off the man you are and the value you offer.

Sure some men and women for that matter get lost in the shroud that is the advice found in Cosmo or Maxim.  They only lead you down the path of fake assumed confidence and control that is quickly pierced through by anyone with half a brain.  They suddenly realizes your wittiness and allure ended as quickly as your first date and you’re left with nothing but routines like a dancing monkey.

3) Our Leaders Suck: I ask you, where is visionary leadership amongst the crowds of people looking for help. We have figured such as David D and Dr. Paul, both great teachers, but they are the exception. Most of the people leading the community are just the guys who raised their hand the highest and their voice the loudest.

Visionaries are often revealed as false profits and the need to have a leader to follow just shows your failings as a unique individual without a mind of his own.  Do you see me blindly following Obama and his principals or that of any past president for that matter?  No!  That’s because I am a logical human being that will take their ideals and experience and digest it to see what works and jives for me.

The squeaky wheel gets the grease and the loudest are usually those whom are heard most.  No one is expecting you to follow the megaphone nor should you.  It is obvious however if you need someone to follow that you are still merely a sheep and don’t have the self reliance necessary to be truly successful with women nor in life.

4) Secrecy: This blog post is evidence of the secrecy that exists within the Pick Up community. I am writing it out of frustration and not out of comradeship. The Pick Up community despises attention being placed on them. That is quite literally the primary reason why so many guys focus on “Night Game”, because they are anonymous and that sucks.

This blog and many like it prove the exact opposite.  You think pick up is something coveted and hidden like that of the Free Masons however you couldn’t be more wrong.  Movies, TV, music and popular culture have shown the light on dating for decades and with the advent of blogging through the internet, that light shone even brighter.

Night game has nothing to do with anonymity unless you are are as memorable as past political promises.  I routinely run into men and women downtown I know practically nightly.  There are even times women whose numbers I acquired just the week before I suddenly run into and have great interactions with.  If i wanted to be anonymous I’d try dating on the internet as anyone can be whomever they like with the only required litmus test being the first date.

5) Maturity: The Pick Up community is perpetuating childish recess games for men to play with unsuspecting women. I humbly say that I felt like the oldest person in the room on many occasions.

Perhaps you are just too old to go to the clubs grandpa.  Women play the exact same games with unsuspecting men whether it be in free drinks, unwarranted attention or *gasp* sexual gratification.  In their 20’s women have choice pick and because of this can easily take advantage of the overwhelming suitors.  While men may “play games” they’re usually for a mutually desired goal of the women and at the very least they have the decency in not leading the other party along for hours on end with nothing but an empty wallet to show for it.

If you’re looking for maturity you will never find it in a dance club.  It’s a well know mating location and hasn’t been given the term “meat market” for nothing.  Single women attend with the exact same sinful intentions as men and for you to assume only one party is at fault is another failing in your judgment and social understanding.

Outside of the club scene you might lose some of that childish recess but what it comes down to is women put a guy who is funny and entertaining at the top of their attractors.  While you may choose to sip wine and speak ill of your recent ex during a date, those of us with any understanding of women realize that playful teasing and cheesy games are fun for them and more importantly and attractive trait.

6) Being a Slut: I am tired of sleeping around and knowing that it is a PUA’s duty to be a bit of a slut. I just can’t do it any longer.

Once again proof you have no understanding of the true intention of most men who strive to be PUAs.  You mentioned David DeAngelo among others.  Have you ever seen a program of his or other “gurus”?  They specifically ask the men in attendance what they are looking for.  In every case a huge majority, sometimes nearing 85%, are specifically there to learn the skills to find that one perfect woman.  They are lonely men who are completely attractive in their own right but lacking the skills to portray it to a woman they want.  Sure, some men just want to sleep around, but you will always find them regardless of age, region or skill.

Most men whether a part of “the community” or not are rarely the horn dogs you accuse them of.  If they found the right woman to settle down with they would.  The big problem is most these men don’t even know how to approach a woman let alone get her into bed.  I’m sorry if your attitude has been negatively skewed by the few men you’ve met that fall into the male slut category, but then again had you really been part of this community you now speak so ill about, you’d realize they are the minority.


I hate to point fingers but this guy is the anthesis of an AFC (average frustrated chump) who has completely given up in hopes to find another magic pill because this one has failed him.  Nothing comes easy sir and attacking those whom are interwoven to build up one another is a low blow.  While I personally take no offense I am saddened to see you so forcibly remove yourself from something that in all honestly deep down is just trying to help.

He concludes with, “In articles and narrative that is to follow soon I will explore the deeper realities of the the Pick Up community and what alternatives exist for guys who really want to change.”

Almost sounds like the blog of a feminist.

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