Mermaid Theory


One of my favorite sit-com shows is “How I Met Your Mother” and since it’s inception I have been labeled as “Barney” by my friends, family and even random women that I’ve met at the bar.  While I take it as a compliment, more importantly the show has interesting theories that while written for entertainment deep down have some truth to them.

This past week’s episode speaks upon the “Mermaid Theory.”  Simply put the idea is that mermaids never existed.  Men were sailing at sea for so long that manatees (eg. ugly women) eventually turned into mermaids after enough time and desperation.  After being stuck months at sea with a boat full of seamen (he he) one would eventually pervert a manatee into a hot looking mermaid.

Now enough history.  Beckoned into present time the idea evolved that a man after a meeting a woman, no matter how ugly she may be, will eventually at some point become attractive to him.  While hilarious in its own right, it does have some merit.

First we’ll explore the obvious intended situation.  You meet a woman who is married, dating your friend, a significant other of a sibling or a work associate and because of social boundaries you refuse to observe them for more than their platonic relationship to you.  You have no desire or interest in them however if they are a woman, at some point the timer runs out and you see them for what they are.  A member of the opposite sex who is suddenly intriguing and your “Oh Shit!” meter goes off.  You still for whatever the situation can’t or shouldn’t hit on them but unfortunately this manatee is now a mermaid.

What is briefly touched on is the god awful beer goggle effect.  When you’ve known someone of the opposite sex for months or even years, but when the alcohol is included suddenly they go from a never would, to a maybe should.

While many people go out on the weekends with drinks in hand, many times they don’t realize that exact decision could be sending them on the path of never should.  While booze is the social lubricant of social life many times the combination of drunken desperation and rose colored beer goggles makes this situation pervert into a regrettable evening.

I’m not judging the merits nor the morals of the decision, it is surprising to see this theory in both a sober and drunken perspective.  In short the title you’ve given someone you’ve know for days, weeks or months might seem ludicrous in the possible thrusts of passion and very well could be… in the end you need to realize that this mermaid will very quickly be a manatee again with only tears of situational regret.

Be still, stay strong and realize your initial impression may be the correct one.

How to you get past this possible ground shattering realization?  Dress up, go out and move on.

1 Comment to Mermaid Theory

ravenhair
December 24, 2010

I’m a woman who worked as a biologist on the fishing vessels in Alaska. I was the only woman on the boat with 50 men while at sea for 3 months at a time. Living like this made us ALL crave interaction with women. When at port, I would walk around and talk to every woman I came across and then buy an armload of Oprah and Martha Stewart magazines and get back onboard.
I have to say I absolutely LOVE how I was treated when I walked into a bar in Alaska. I got the immediate sense from everyone that my presence was welcome, just because I was a woman. Not for dressing up hot, not for being a potential lay…but I sincerely think my female essence was appreciated for everything it is. What a wonderful notion! To be appreciated for being a woman. Not a certain kind of woman (hot,etc.) But just for being a woman. I wish everywhere was like that. It would bring out the best in us.

Leave a comment