Backseat Jeep

Making my rounds on the internet I came across an interesting post on JeepForum.

mkpopcorn asked: So, my boyfriend bought a ’96 Cherokee (XJ) SE, for way too much, like around $3,000. It broke down and he has put another $2,500 in it and totally rebuilt the engine and did a lot of after market work on it. He has and will do all the labor himself, he refuses to pay for labor. Now, he finds out that the motor needs to be taken back out and fixed again and is looking at another $700. I said he should just sell it and wipe his hands clean, he says he won’t make enough.

Firstly, what is your guys’ opinion on what he should do? Secondly, how much do you think he could make parting it versus just the whole car as is?

Thanks for your guys’ opinions!

The very first reply was a nugget of Dr. Phil wisdom I’m sure will be completely ignored and trivialized.

wgirvine responds: You want my opinion? Ok…

Shut the hell up. You’re not his wife. You’re not paying for the repairs. It’s absolutely none of your business what he does with his Jeep or his money. I know your type well… first it’s “Sell the Jeep because it’s costing too much money.” Then it’s “No, you can’t go spend the weekend with your buddies because I need you to take me shopping.” Then it’s “Oh gee, honey… I’m pregnant. Gosh, I have no idea how that happened.”

You’re a DreamKiller. You kill a guy’s dreams, take away his future, tie him down with a fat mortgage and too many babies, and turn him into just another miserable guy wondering, “How the hell did I get here?”

Do you really want to help him? Here’s what you do… go to your local library (it’s a big building with books inside) and check out a couple of books on rebuilding engines. Read them, over and over, until YOU understand what needs to be done. Then help him get that engine out and rebuild it. Tie your hair back in a ponytail, put on some old jeans and get your hands dirty. Hand him wrenches, hold the light, pull the wire connectors apart, help him get the hood off… help him with anything he needs. When he gets tired, run inside and make him a hot lunch or dinner. Fix him coffee, hot chocolate, whatever he wants. (But NO beer. Beer is for when the job is done.)

Then when the day is over and you’re both exhausted from working on the engine, push him into a hot shower and jump in with him. Scrub his back, wash his hair, rinse him off, and dry him with fluffy towels still hot from the dryer. Then push him into bed and screw his ears off. Then get up the next day and do it all over again.

Make him realize that rebuilding an engine is a slow and methodical process. Make him realize that every step should be regarded as surgery; every step must be perfect… perfect torque, perfect fit, perfectly clean. If you run into a step that you just can’t figure out, ask for help from someone who knows what he’s doing. Are you cute? Put on a low-cut top, show some cleavage and go (by yourself) to the local Jeep shop, and explain to the guys that you are helping your boyfriend to rebuild his engine and neither of you can figure out this one little step, and do they have any advice…

Think it won’t work? Think again. We guys love to help cute girls, even if they have a boyfriend. (Hey, maybe you’ve got a sister, or girlfriend…)

But absolutely DO NOT whine or complain. Do not say a single negative thing. Not a single “Oooooo, I broke a nail.” If you break a nail, or cut your finger, or bang a knuckle, you just shut up and DEAL WITH IT. You should be a hopelessly optomistic, never-say-die cheerleader, encouraging him every step of the way.

That’s my opinion.

The slow downhill trend of American women and their wife worthiness continues to plummet.  They are selfish, unappreciative, spoiled rotten and have an inhuman sense of entitlement.  This post is a great example of the inner workings of this woman and how her focus in this relationship is on what she can gain rather how she can be a contributing member.

Whether this guy is loaded or completely broke it’s not her place to worry, wonder or even question how he spends his hard earned cash.  While this money pit may rob her from all the lavish gifts she feels entitled to, it should be of no concern.  It’s something that brings this guy happiness and she was well aware of its existence even before they started dating.

She is beginning the tug of control perhaps starting with this Jeep but will continue to worsen if this guy complies.  With the sale of the Jeep this poor sod would have started the ball rolling where now she’ll wonder how much further she can push it.  Suddenly his job, friends, free time or even dreams will be scrutinized and placed under the cross hair.

Why is she doing this?  First, because she thinks she can and secondly because she is no longer chasing him.  The thought of losing him or not living up to his expectations are no longer a concern and because of this bad habits appear.

Girls, like guys, can get bored easily with relationships. When you’re in a relationship with a girl, there are times when you need to offer your cheek – you can’t always be the one to offer a kiss. If you’re always the one to kiss your girlfriend before she does, you are essentially relinquishing your power in the relationship. Relationships are a constant power struggle and you can’t simply give ground or you will turn into this guy. I’m not suggesting to be ruthless or mean, you just need to keep her chasing you. Don’t always rush to give her whatever she wants whenever she wants it.

Everybody in a relationship will claim that each party has equal power. This is simply not true. The person with less power will obviously not see it. The person with more power will obviously not admit it. People around the relationship would be able to tell you fairly quickly who “wears the pants”.

While it’s not obvious that this poster wears the pants in the relationship, she will if the jeep is relinquished and her bad attitude condoned.

Update: there was another response from a female member of the forums.  Very good advice and I’m sure she’s happily in a relationship.

Gina replied: Let the guy spend HIS money how HE pleases. As a girlfriend, you really have no say nor do any of us. He wanted the jeep, had means to get it. Probably had fun with it, broke it. It’s a labor of love. Some of us enjoy wreching around on stuff. Why pay top dollar to get something fixed, when you can go buy the parts, invest a little time, and learn something in the process of the repair. I’m sure if you had a car that broke, then brought it to the repair shop and looked at the tab you’d love to have bf that could fix said car for pennies in comparison. He’s gaining knowledge and pride from that “overpriced” ****can. Like stated above, why not just help him do what he wants to do. I bet he’d be overjoyed to have his gf passing him tools, or just sitting there talking to him while he works. Why be that irritating girlfriend sitting in the shop miserable when you could get your hands the slightest bit dirty and make the guy smile. No matter what, a girl who wants a serious shot with a guy never intentionally hurts his pride. Posting on a Jeep forum about his what you consider “bad” decisions isn’t being helpful or supportive..and you’re not going to get the answer YOU want

2 Comments to Backseat Jeep

Bring the Movies
March 18, 2011

This was an awesome post. Thank you. I have been that guy, I gave up my waffle iron and it all rolled downhill from there. Never give her an inch or she will take a mile.

July 9, 2013

Gina….your a rare breed and a keeper. I wish the female poulation shared your sentiments. With that said a relationship is liken to a garden….you must pull weeds when they appear, fertilize often to harvest the quality that meet both of your expectations. My GF is right there and eager to learn while I work on my Jeeps, my Vette, the boats, and the Harley, as she reeps the benfits and the savings from repair shops. The value added is the education and skill levels attained in the process. The give portion is I reciprocate with sliding in the Tux and escorting her to the symphony as well. Just my two cents….


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