The Girlfriend Hypothesis

I stumbled across a blog a few months ago called The Girlfriend Hypothesis and was really excited!

Pretty much it was a blog of a guy looking to better his life in the idea that with enough concerted effort he could score a girlfriend in a month.  It might sound ballsy, but honestly anything you put your mind to you can accomplish.

Here’s an example: You are unemployed, need a job and in 1-month time will be unable to cover your bills and could very well be homeless.  Could you get a job in these dire straits?  For most people the answer is “Obviously!”  So if you put the same effort towards that of obtaining a girlfriend it should be just as possible….right?

I don’t want to speak ill of this man, but he seemed to hit day 13 more than two months in.  If you read his blog you’ll realize he was assertive, directed and focused.  In any case those are all you need to obtain a goal and focused, you can make it happen!

Back to our unemployed example, three months to find a job you needed one month in would be considered failure if not homeless.  Yes, we are talking about dating, but with refined focus you would assume one would have some traction towards said goal if not accomplished it.

If he ever reads this blog I hope he realizes I’m not lambasting him, however using his example of laser focused precision one would think that had he continued he would have succeeded and wonderfully so.

So, why did he falter? Did he quit?  If it was between having an income and surviving or unable to pay the bills I feel anyone would put the concerted if not extreme effort into finding a job.  So in this case why if so important did this fellow fall short in his attempts to find a girlfriend if not at the very least an attainable girl to casually date?

Priorities and desperation.  When it comes to a job in our above situation, failure is not an option.  However, in dating the same could be said.  How is being serially single any worse than being habitually unemployed?  The difference is simply this: perceived, it is unacceptable to have no income, but it is just a setback to continue to be single.  In the thick of things it makes sense in our example, however I feel ones personal life is as much if not more important than that of a professional one.

Several times I egged him on, as i do friends, only to see him slow his momentum and eventually give up.  “It’s not so bad being single compared to being homeless” one might say.  And while I agree emphatically, we can tell he, like us, has the time, ability and resources to make it happen.

So what went wrong?  Exactly that for many of us including myself from time to time.  There isn’t said laser focus in “needing” a girlfriend and while it might be as uncomfortable as finding a job, one is a necessity and the other (in some minds) is not.

Where does that put us?  First off, I’m not going to suggest that if meeting women is painful you should continue the effort unabated, however what is the alternative if you do not?  Lonely, single, always convincing yourself that it isn’t a necessity or priority until you are 40 and wonder what the hell you did with your life.

Please don’t think for a second that I am trying to attack or embarrass this guy for his good intentions…the problem is until failure is not an option they are exactly that: good intentions. Dating is difficult.  Meeting the perfect woman is harder.  But, in the end when you have her in your arms and she won’t let you go, there is nothing better in the world in knowing that certainty.

Don’t give up.  Realize that if you work for anything with a concerted effort you will indeed achieve it.  Perhaps not in your preferable frame of time, but it will happen nonetheless.


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