Commentary

Why “Portland sucks for single men”

June 10th, 2013 by Broadband

A few months back a short and slightly pedantic article was written by a local on why the dating market in Portland is anything less than stellar. While I am a fan of Roosh, his Return of Kings blog can be hit or miss as the majority of articles are written by a various mix of men in different areas of their lives.

Surprisingly this article got major attention at the /r/Portland section of Reddit and the white knights came out in full force. I’ll agree the article in question seemed emotionally driven, loose on fact and suspect in nature but some of the responses were entertaining if only further proof of the beta/feminist driven world.

I had written a retort and to my better judgement refrained from posting it to deaf ears. It resurfaced this week while I was cleaning up my files and I figured I’d share my insight into this and the quality of women in Portland.

Read the rest of this entry »

Is dating inherently beta?

April 17th, 2013 by Broadband

I was asked an question from a frustrated guy whom after a seemingly perfect date is confused that it could have fallen apart to the all too familiar flake.

Met a girl recently – super cute, perfect body, just turned 23, originally from Russia, but came to the USA when she was 10 (exactly like me).
Our date was incredible – we drank, made out, and practicably had 95% of stuff in common. If there was ever a time where a first date would lead to a 2nd – this was it.

But yesterday evening – I get the most generic brush off text in history of brush off texts – “Hey I’ve been thinking that it’s probably best if we don’t go out again, I’m in the middle of figuring out grad school and may be going away soon and it’s just not smart, therefore I think it’s best we just stay friends”.

Now – I start thinking – where in this date did I go wrong? Physically – I was looking good that night, dressed well, plus I’m 6’2, so height has never been an issue. Work wise I’ve never come off as a chump, our conversation couldn’t have gone any better. I picked the activities we did that night and took the lead in all of them. There were literally no holes in my game that night.

bored-woman-with-boyfriend

My response after the break  Read the rest of this entry »

The Girlfriend Hypothesis

June 8th, 2012 by Broadband

I stumbled across a blog a few months ago called The Girlfriend Hypothesis and was really excited!

Pretty much it was a blog of a guy looking to better his life in the idea that with enough concerted effort he could score a girlfriend in a month.  It might sound ballsy, but honestly anything you put your mind to you can accomplish.

Here’s an example: You are unemployed, need a job and in 1-month time will be unable to cover your bills and could very well be homeless.  Could you get a job in these dire straits?  For most people the answer is “Obviously!”  So if you put the same effort towards that of obtaining a girlfriend it should be just as possible….right?

I don’t want to speak ill of this man, but he seemed to hit day 13 more than two months in.  If you read his blog you’ll realize he was assertive, directed and focused.  In any case those are all you need to obtain a goal and focused, you can make it happen!

Back to our unemployed example, three months to find a job you needed one month in would be considered failure if not homeless.  Yes, we are talking about dating, but with refined focus you would assume one would have some traction towards said goal if not accomplished it.

If he ever reads this blog I hope he realizes I’m not lambasting him, however using his example of laser focused precision one would think that had he continued he would have succeeded and wonderfully so.

So, why did he falter? Did he quit?  If it was between having an income and surviving or unable to pay the bills I feel anyone would put the concerted if not extreme effort into finding a job.  So in this case why if so important did this fellow fall short in his attempts to find a girlfriend if not at the very least an attainable girl to casually date? Read the rest of this entry »

Forever Alone Grocery Store

May 9th, 2011 by Broadband

If you are a “surfer” of the interwebs you’ve undoubtedly come across the wonderful, hillarious and often pointless memes taking over the internet.  Everything from canihazcheezburger to the RickRoll and even Bed Intruder.  A more recent meme that has become popular among nerds focuses on hapless loners who though social ineptitude joke (sadly) that they will be single and friendless for the rest of their lives.  These people are what we refer to as AFCs (Average Frustrated Chumps) and the meme is know as Forever Alone.

This is become so popular that many congregate in corners of the internet just to complain how they are forever alone looking for support and reassurance it’s not their fault.  It’s become so popular it gave me an idea of a new series on this blog called “Forever Alone”. I’ll focus on a specific AFCs problem and dissect it pointing out exactly how he is both sabotaging his future happiness and trying to place the blame on anyone but himself.  Hope you enjoy and at the very least realize you don’t have it as bad as this guy.

Forever Alone at the Grocery Store

hello fellow FAers, I have decided to accept that I am one of you and join your ranks. I wanted to start off by sharing an observation I have made while grocery shopping. I usually go to trader joe’s or whole foods, where the employees are generally a friendly bunch. while waiting in line at the checkout lane, I have noticed that the cashiers chat up the customers, asking how their weekends are going and the such. the patron responds, jokes are swapped, smiles all around.

then it’s my turn. I step up to the counter and place my handbasket upon it. the cashier, coincidentally an attractive young woman, asks if I had trouble finding anything. I summon all of my emotive ability to come back with a cheery “nope, got everything I needed!” she then begins perfunctorily removing my items, not making any further eye contact. no more words are exchanged. the awkward silence slowly thickens, only to be sporadically pricked with the “beep” of the barcode scanner.

zoo animal fruit snacks were on sale today, $2 a box. organic, too. I’m trying to cut back on sugar, but what the heck! everybody loves fruit snacks. the cashier reaches for the box to scan it, and momentarily pauses to look at it. I look at her, a grin forming on my face, waiting for her to tease the 20-something guy with a week-old beard for buying children’s snacks shaped like giraffes. the moment lingers, and she continues scanning. no comment, no smile, not even a cocked eyebrow. sigh.

I bring my own reusable grocery bag. I secretly hope that this act of eco-friendliness will ingratiate me to the cashier and spawn at least a verbal high five, but I get nothing. I unfold it and open it up, placing it on the edge of the counter, but the cloth bag just flops over. I pull out my credit card early, in a desperate attempt to fill the silence with some physical action. the items are bagged. the receipt is handed to me. finally, she speaks: “have a nice day!”

“thanks.” as I walk away from the counter, I almost sideswipe a small child with my fully loaded tote. I fumble an apology, but the parent just reaches over and pulls the child closer to her, away from the stranger. as I leave I overhear my cashier laughing with the next customer in line. I can’t make out what they’re talking about, but I think I hear something about gummy tigers.
forever alone.

Joining the ranks of the “forever alones” could easily be proof that one has utterly and completely given up. His acceptance of this fate is both sad and a likely end result given his disastrous self-esteem and social skills. This poor guy is so scared of the women and people around him that he is akin to that dog at the shelter so afraid of people because of past abuse that he hides and goes unnoticed until finally put to sleep.

Now given the website I found this post and the attitude of the writer we can assume he spends an unhealthy amount of time at home alone and likely in front of a computer or video game. He is extremely introverted at work and puts in the bare minimum of 9-5 heading straight home and generally goes unnoticed by his peers. This routine has made him so nervous and uncomfortable around others that his feeble attempts at social interactions go nowhere and in response his self esteem plummets. He mentions he has a week old beard so he’s probably unkempt making it obvious his self esteem already left him some time ago.

The only thing that keeps him going is his human need for connection, acceptance and companionship.

Without penning an essay on his mistakes and potential areas for improvement I’m going to graze over my above observations. Suggesting routines or ways to start this conversation would be pointless as his foundation (self-esteem) is non-existent.

The first thing this guy needs to do is show some pride of ownership in himself and follow the hygiene necessary to display exactly that. One commenter responded:

He delivers this scene: “I look at her, a grin forming on my face, waiting for her to tease the 20-something guy with a week-old beard for buying children’s snacks shaped like giraffes.” like it’s either supposed to be cute or endearing. It’s the opposite. If I was that cashier, I would have tried to get the transaction finished as fast as possible.

This social awkwardness and inability to relate with those around him shows he’s barely conscious in his existence and has no real presence. One might even refer to him as an “empty suit” however he’d have to dress better first. What this guy needs is a drastic change in his routine: to get out of his house, comfort zone and find who is really is. What lights that fire of human spirit in his life so he can want to share it with others? As Baz Luhrmann suggests, “Do one thing every day that scares you.” Join Toastmasters, learn to rock climb, try impromptu comedy or join a local social group. Force yourself out of your bad habits and mindset until you actually do feel like you have something to contribute. Talk to strangers until it becomes natural.

Being Forever Alone or an AFC is nothing but a state of mind and doesn’t have to be a state of being. Plenty of people have come from far worse a place to a place in their life they never thought imaginable.

Backseat Jeep

January 13th, 2011 by Broadband

Making my rounds on the internet I came across an interesting post on JeepForum.

mkpopcorn asked: So, my boyfriend bought a ’96 Cherokee (XJ) SE, for way too much, like around $3,000. It broke down and he has put another $2,500 in it and totally rebuilt the engine and did a lot of after market work on it. He has and will do all the labor himself, he refuses to pay for labor. Now, he finds out that the motor needs to be taken back out and fixed again and is looking at another $700. I said he should just sell it and wipe his hands clean, he says he won’t make enough.

Firstly, what is your guys’ opinion on what he should do? Secondly, how much do you think he could make parting it versus just the whole car as is?

Thanks for your guys’ opinions!

The very first reply was a nugget of Dr. Phil wisdom I’m sure will be completely ignored and trivialized.

wgirvine responds: You want my opinion? Ok…

Shut the hell up. You’re not his wife. You’re not paying for the repairs. It’s absolutely none of your business what he does with his Jeep or his money. I know your type well… first it’s “Sell the Jeep because it’s costing too much money.” Then it’s “No, you can’t go spend the weekend with your buddies because I need you to take me shopping.” Then it’s “Oh gee, honey… I’m pregnant. Gosh, I have no idea how that happened.”

You’re a DreamKiller. You kill a guy’s dreams, take away his future, tie him down with a fat mortgage and too many babies, and turn him into just another miserable guy wondering, “How the hell did I get here?”

Do you really want to help him? Here’s what you do… go to your local library (it’s a big building with books inside) and check out a couple of books on rebuilding engines. Read them, over and over, until YOU understand what needs to be done. Then help him get that engine out and rebuild it. Tie your hair back in a ponytail, put on some old jeans and get your hands dirty. Hand him wrenches, hold the light, pull the wire connectors apart, help him get the hood off… help him with anything he needs. When he gets tired, run inside and make him a hot lunch or dinner. Fix him coffee, hot chocolate, whatever he wants. (But NO beer. Beer is for when the job is done.)

Then when the day is over and you’re both exhausted from working on the engine, push him into a hot shower and jump in with him. Scrub his back, wash his hair, rinse him off, and dry him with fluffy towels still hot from the dryer. Then push him into bed and screw his ears off. Then get up the next day and do it all over again.

Make him realize that rebuilding an engine is a slow and methodical process. Make him realize that every step should be regarded as surgery; every step must be perfect… perfect torque, perfect fit, perfectly clean. If you run into a step that you just can’t figure out, ask for help from someone who knows what he’s doing. Are you cute? Put on a low-cut top, show some cleavage and go (by yourself) to the local Jeep shop, and explain to the guys that you are helping your boyfriend to rebuild his engine and neither of you can figure out this one little step, and do they have any advice…

Think it won’t work? Think again. We guys love to help cute girls, even if they have a boyfriend. (Hey, maybe you’ve got a sister, or girlfriend…)

But absolutely DO NOT whine or complain. Do not say a single negative thing. Not a single “Oooooo, I broke a nail.” If you break a nail, or cut your finger, or bang a knuckle, you just shut up and DEAL WITH IT. You should be a hopelessly optomistic, never-say-die cheerleader, encouraging him every step of the way.

That’s my opinion.

The slow downhill trend of American women and their wife worthiness continues to plummet.  They are selfish, unappreciative, spoiled rotten and have an inhuman sense of entitlement.  This post is a great example of the inner workings of this woman and how her focus in this relationship is on what she can gain rather how she can be a contributing member.

Whether this guy is loaded or completely broke it’s not her place to worry, wonder or even question how he spends his hard earned cash.  While this money pit may rob her from all the lavish gifts she feels entitled to, it should be of no concern.  It’s something that brings this guy happiness and she was well aware of its existence even before they started dating.

She is beginning the tug of control perhaps starting with this Jeep but will continue to worsen if this guy complies.  With the sale of the Jeep this poor sod would have started the ball rolling where now she’ll wonder how much further she can push it.  Suddenly his job, friends, free time or even dreams will be scrutinized and placed under the cross hair.

Why is she doing this?  First, because she thinks she can and secondly because she is no longer chasing him.  The thought of losing him or not living up to his expectations are no longer a concern and because of this bad habits appear.

Girls, like guys, can get bored easily with relationships. When you’re in a relationship with a girl, there are times when you need to offer your cheek – you can’t always be the one to offer a kiss. If you’re always the one to kiss your girlfriend before she does, you are essentially relinquishing your power in the relationship. Relationships are a constant power struggle and you can’t simply give ground or you will turn into this guy. I’m not suggesting to be ruthless or mean, you just need to keep her chasing you. Don’t always rush to give her whatever she wants whenever she wants it.

Everybody in a relationship will claim that each party has equal power. This is simply not true. The person with less power will obviously not see it. The person with more power will obviously not admit it. People around the relationship would be able to tell you fairly quickly who “wears the pants”.

While it’s not obvious that this poster wears the pants in the relationship, she will if the jeep is relinquished and her bad attitude condoned.

Update: there was another response from a female member of the forums.  Very good advice and I’m sure she’s happily in a relationship.

Gina replied: Let the guy spend HIS money how HE pleases. As a girlfriend, you really have no say nor do any of us. He wanted the jeep, had means to get it..got it. Probably had fun with it, broke it. It’s a labor of love. Some of us enjoy wreching around on stuff. Why pay top dollar to get something fixed, when you can go buy the parts, invest a little time, and learn something in the process of the repair. I’m sure if you had a car that broke, then brought it to the repair shop and looked at the tab you’d love to have bf that could fix said car for pennies in comparison. He’s gaining knowledge and pride from that “overpriced” ****can. Like stated above, why not just help him do what he wants to do. I bet he’d be overjoyed to have his gf passing him tools, or just sitting there talking to him while he works. Why be that irritating girlfriend sitting in the shop miserable when you could get your hands the slightest bit dirty and make the guy smile. No matter what, a girl who wants a serious shot with a guy never intentionally hurts his pride. Posting on a Jeep forum about his what you consider “bad” decisions isn’t being helpful or supportive..and you’re not going to get the answer YOU want